By Merlin Lessler —<\/p>\n
I looked in the mirror the other day, really looking for a change. Not my normal, quick glance that fills in the image with a memory of how I appeared years ago, making me think I\u2019m not really an old man. That mirror showed many defects, a bigger nose to start with. It was \u201cas plain as the nose on my face,\u201d yet I hadn\u2019t noticed. <\/p>\n
Then, I saw the ears. They weren\u2019t mine! I never had saucers sticking out of the side of my head like that, had I? This must be some cruel trick. But, it wasn\u2019t. Something was going on here; I was seeing it for the first time. I looked again. \u201cHas my forehead ever been that big? And that far back?\u201d<\/p>\n
The more I looked, the more I found. Too bad they don\u2019t give you a manual when you sign up for Social Security to prepare you for the body alterations that will come your way. <\/p>\n
Like that bag of skin that keeps your insides protected from the outside world. All of a sudden, it starts to sag. It\u2019s the opposite of that saying, \u201cTwo pounds of bologna in a one pound bag.\u201d Now, I\u2019m one pound of bologna in a two-pound bag. Skin that\u2019s sagging and wrinkling all over the place and thinning out so much that every time it gets a good bump, it bruises or bleeds. I can\u2019t fix it with Botox \u2013 it would take too much fill it; I\u2019d look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy<\/p>\n
Just great! If this keeps up, I\u2019ll eventually have to braid my earlobes and tie them behind my neck and buy glasses with wider and wider nosepieces. So, here I am, big nose, big ears, arm muscles that are powered by rubber bands. When I\u2019m in a movie theater, in a seat in the middle of a row, I sit in fear that a cramp will grab my leg, forcing me to swim over my seatmates to the aisle to kick it out.<\/p>\n
Yet, it\u2019s the best time of my life! A period of low expectations. Nobody expects much of you when you\u2019re an old coot. \u201cLook at the old guy; he just raked his yard. Amazing!\u201d<\/p>\n
We take advantage of it, us old guys. None of that, \u201cFailure is not an option,\u201d macho stuff for us. Failure is our best friend. It evokes pity, which is way underrated. It\u2019s as good as, if not better, than praise. No sense to look with apprehension on getting old. It truly is the golden age of your life. Enjoy it when it comes. Big nose and all. <\/p>\n