The Old Coot says football is out of fashion

It wasn’t your typical, pencil thin, pouting, runway stomping fashion model. This one’s figure was somewhat fuller. Even so, it was a high profile fashion show. The model was, “Draped in a rich pewter jersey, juxtaposed with a bright shade of “Buccaneer Red” and “Bay Orange” trim, incorporating a reflective chrome border around oversized numerals on the front, back and shoulders. Matching headwear featured a red battle flag with a skull sitting over crossed swords and a football.” That last word cleared up the mystery for me. Football, that’s what this was all about.

As I read the Associated Press article, quoting a press release from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I was shocked. This wasn’t a fashion trend emerging on a Paris runway or between the covers of Vogue; this was the official team description of a redesigned football uniform that will be trotted onto the field when the Buccaneers play their first game of the 2014 season.

Rich pewter juxtaposed with a bright shade of Buccaneer Red? Thiçs is what professional football has evolved to? And, sent out in a press release? So out of character as to be unbelievable, but if you think this old coot exaggerates, then simply Google – Associated Press – Bucs unveil new uniforms – and see for yourself.

I wonder what the fans will do. Will they cough up $100 to $150 to coordinate their leisure wear to match the Buccaneer Red numbers on pewter jerseys when they go to a game or plop down on the couch? Probably, they will!

Football has come a long ways since I first watched a game on a fuzzy, black and white, six inch TV screen. Players wore drab uniforms back then. Shoulder pads and helmets. The helmets were nothing more than padded leather hats. There were no facemasks. Even the face bar hadn’t made its’ way to the playing field. Now their helmets cost more than my first car. And uniforms are created by fashion designers that juxtapose team colors on jerseys. I should have seen it coming, when Joe Namath donned a pair of Beautymist pantyhose for a Hanes TV commercial back in the 1970’s. Still, it did take 40 years to get us to “rich pewter jerseys, juxtaposed with blah, blah, blah. I can say no more. The Buccaneer’s press release speaks for itself. And us old coots sit here shaking our heads and wondering just how out of touch we really are.

Old Coot “Little” books are available at Riverow Bookshop, Owego.

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